A Beautiful Disaster
by LauraGarthwait
Summary: A/U Tara Grace is a famous singer who left Charming and Jax behind ten years ago to pursue her dream only to be reunited at a charity concert ten years later. Will their love be able to survive his outlaw ways and her constantly being in the spotlight? This was supposed to be a one-shot but after have several requests to continue, I have decided to do so. Thanks for reading!
1. Chapter 1

_**June 2012**_

"It's for charity. Come on Tara, at least think about it." Amanda pleaded, plopping down in the chair across from Tara.

"I totally get it's for charity and I'd be completely fine with doing the show if it wasn't _there_." Tara huffed, sorting through her mail. It had built up since she insisted on handling it all herself instead of letting her agent take care of it.

"Please." Amanda pouted, "We will keep it under wraps that you're coming. A special surprise guest. They may not even show up."

Tara rolled her eyes, "It's Charming, they will be there. _HE_ will be there. SAMCRO is all about _charity._ " She glanced up at Amanda who still had her lips pooched out, Tara sighed in defeat, "Fine." She hated how easily her best friend could talk her into things. "Promise me, _NO ONE_ will know I'm there until I get on stage. I don't need that drama."

Amanda jumped up and down with excitement, making a cross on her chest, "Cross my heart. I'm your agent and your best friend. You can trust me. Thank you, thank you, thank you." She pulled Tara in for a hug.

"Yeah, Yeah." Tara hugged her back. She had traveled all over the country, but hadn't went anywhere near Charming since she left a decade ago.

 _ **March 2002**_

Tara nearly fell out of her chair when Jax's burst through their front door. "Is everything okay, what's wrong?" Concern took the place of fear.

"Wanna tell me what you were doing in Oakland today?" Jax growled, his eyes hard and cold.

"I told you a few days ago that Steven invited me to record a demo." She answered, her heart hammering against her chest.

"And I told you that you weren't going." Jax retorted, dropping his fist down on the table making Tara jump again.

"I do recall you saying that, but I also recall me saying that I was going whether you liked it or not, and you storming out and refusing to talk like always." Tara hissed, not wanting to go through this now. She had been excited all day to tell Jax how well today had gone.

"You're my old lady, I said you weren't going, there was _NOTHING_ else to talk about." Jax bit back, his anger flaring.

"No, that may be how things work with the rest of SAMCRO and their old ladies, but that won't be how things are done with us." Tara snapped, rising from her chair standing in front of him.

"I just don't understand why you're wasting your time with this babe." Jax tried to hug her before she stepped back.

" _Wasting_ my time? You think trying to follow my dream is wasting my time?" Tara felt the tears welling up in her eyes. She had never once questioned Jax's love for her until this moment.

"Yes." Jax answered. "I think you wanting to become a famous singer is a little crazy babe."

A single tear rolled down Tara's cheek and she nodded, "You were always the one to believe in me when no one else did. I could always count on you."

"You can count on me. I just don't want you to get your hopes up over something this foolish." Jax tilted her chin up but she refused to look at him.

"I think you should go." Tara pulled away, "I need time to think alone." She turned her back to him.

"Babe, just talk to me." He objected stepping back in front of her.

"Please just go. We'll talk later." He nodded, deciding to give her the space she was requesting. They would work this out, they always did.

Several hours and beers later, Jax returned back home to an empty house.

"Babe?" He called out, searching every room. He found an envelope laying on the kitchen table.

 _Jackson,_

 _In the past 4 years I've been there for you, loving and supporting your every move even if I disagreed with it. In that time, I never doubted your love for me, until today. Today was a wakeup call. This relationship was a fairytale, I thought it was my happy ending but I think I was wrong. I can't do this anymore. I can't be the one who supports you whole heartedly while you call my dreams and ambitions silly, crazy, or foolish if they don't suit your needs. If you're reading this I'm already gone, don't come find me. I don't want you to. I need this time by myself, to find myself and I need to do that without you. If you care for me at all grant me this last request, don't look for me, let me go. Let me figure out who I am._

 _I will love you until the day I die, but I just don't believe that's enough anymore._

 _-Tara._

 _ **July 2012**_

The memory of how things ended replayed over and over in her head. He had granted her wish; he didn't try to find her. He stayed away. A part of her wished he did come looking for her, the first few years without him were hard. She missed him so much, but she kept moving forward. As time went on it got easier being without him. He didn't haunt her dreams as often. She had a feeling once she saw his face in the crowd during the charity concert that would all change.

Tara was a bundle of nerves when the bus pulled up into Charming. She wasn't sure how she expected to get around without anyone noticing her. SAMCRO had eyes everywhere.

She had made it to the area they had set up for a stage, no one had approached her yet so she was pretty sure she had pulled off her stealth mission. If Gemma caught wind that she was back in town, she'd know it. Hell hath no fury like Gemma Teller-Morrow and Tara was almost certain she was on Gemma's top 5 bitch list.

"You good?" Amanda asked, sitting beside her. "You look like you're going to pass out." She rubbed Tara's back for support.

"I'm fine. I just keep waiting for Jax or Gemma to come around the corner and confront me." Tara kept her eyes fixed on the curtain in front of her.

"Nah, no one knows you're here, yet, but they will very soon so pull yourself together. Remember this one's for the kids." Amanda stated, smoothing Tara's hair down. "Nice choice on the clothes by the way. You look hot. If he's here, he's not gonna know what hit him." She winked.

"I'm sure he's here, I heard the motorcycles a few minutes ago." Tara sighed. She held out hope that he was on a run somewhere, that they all were, including Gemma. She wasn't that lucky though.

"I'm surprised you didn't puke." Amanda laughed.

"I almost did." Tara admitted. Her stomach was still doing somersaults.

"I bet." Amanda nudged her and stood up when the last song was finished. "You're up."

Amanda stepped out on stage to call Tara out there. Tara bent over with her hands on her knees taking deep breaths. "You all have been great. You ready to go home or you want some more?" The crowd cheered for more. "Alright. Well we've got a special guest here to perform for you. Let's bring her on out. Give it up for Charming's own TARA GRACE."

Tara stepped out on stage and waved to the crowd. "Wow thank you for that warm welcome. It's good to be back in Charming." Tara lied, her eyes wandered around the crowd and she found him immediately. He stood there with Gemma, Donna, and SAMCRO, with his mouth gaped open. She took another calming breath and performed the set she had picked out.

As she started off stage she allowed herself one more look in his direction, but he was gone.

"You did great." Amanda high-fived her. "Thank you for doing this."

"No problem." Tara answered. She could feel someone's eyes on her. She spun around and was standing face to face with Gemma.

"You did good out there sweetheart," Gemma stated, "have time to talk?"

"Uh sure." Tara answered, "I'll meet you in a bit." She hugged Amanda and turned to follow Gemma out.

"I'm sorry if me coming here was a bad idea, I didn't want to." Tara blurted out before Gemma could say anything.

"You're damn right it was a bad idea. You tell my son not to come looking for you and then you show your face here. You've got a lot of nerve little girl." Gemma hissed.

"Look I'm sorry how things ended with Jax but I'm sure you don't know the whole story." Tara crossed her arms and stared at Gemma hard.

"I know all I need to know. You just up and left without a word, without giving him the chance to fight for you." Gemma snarled.

"I left a note." Tara countered. "Besides he said my dream was crazy and foolish, when all I ever did was support him 100% of the time."

"Were you supporting him when you chose to be some uppity bitch over him and this family?"

"No. I chose me for once. I'm not going to apologize for that. I'm sorry that things ended the way that they did. I didn't want that, I loved him, but I will not apologize for following my dream. If that's what you're waiting on, then this conversation is over." Tara turned on her heels to leave.

"You didn't love him. You loved what he could do for you. If you loved him, you wouldn't have broken his heart the way you did. He almost died because of it but were you there? No, you took off. Get on that bus and don't come back. He's finally got his head on straight again and doesn't need you here twisting him all up." Gemma spat.

"Gladly." Tara's heart was heavy, she had no idea what Gemma was talking about, him almost dying. She would have hated herself forever if anything bad had happened to him. She may have been pissed and hurt but she loved him with every ounce of her.

"Bitch." Gemma muttered as Tara walked away.

"Tara. Wait up." Donna called out. "Hi." She pulled Tara in for a hug.

"Hey, wow look at you." Tara rubbed Donna's huge belly. "When are you due? Boy/Girl?"

"Next week. Girl, Ellie." Donna instinctively rubbed her belly too. "You weren't gonna leave without saying hi, or goodbye, were you?"

"Aww. I like that name. Well they are getting a room in Lodi for the night and were wanting to head there pretty soon. We're all pretty tired, and Gemma made it pretty clear that I'm not welcome here. I don't want to cause any more problems." Tara explained.

"Forget her. Spend the night with me and Opie. Opie will drive you to Lodi in the morning. I think you owe me some girl time after the way you just disappeared for 10 years." Donna glared at her for a moment before her small smile was back.

"I don't think that's a good idea. You could come with me to Lodi for a little while and hang out if you want."

"With as far along as I am, I don't need to leave Charming. Please Tara, I promise Gemma won't bother you. She knows better than to mess with me in this current state." Donna protested.

"Fine, I'll come for a few hours and then have someone come get me." Tara agreed with a sigh. She hated her almost inability to tell her friends no.

"Yay. Awesome." Donna grabbed Tara's hand.

"Manda, I'm gonna hang out here in Charming with an old friend. I'll see you later." Tara called out as Donna pulled her toward her car.

Opie and Donna had bought the house across the street from the house that Tara grew up in. That house was still empty, she had been meaning to put it on the market but that would have required her to come back to Charming to clean it out.

"Nice place." Tara stated looking around the house.

"Thanks." Donna beamed, "it's so good to have you here. You have no idea how much I've missed you."

Tara was pleased that Donna didn't seem to hold any grudges for her disappearing act, she seemed genuinely happy that Tara was here. "I've missed you too. Can I ask you something? Gemma said something about Jax being broken hearted and almost dying, what did she mean? Was she just messing with me?"

"No." Donna gave her a small smile but shook her head. "Jax had a really hard after you left. He spiraled so far out of control, he had us all worried. He was drinking from the time he got up until he went to bed. He jumped from pussy to pussy. He ran his bike into a barrier during one of his drunken rages when someone mentioned your name. No one could say anything about you, not even me. He would completely lose it. He was in intensive care in a coma for a little while." Donna admitted.

"Why didn't anyone tell me?" Tara spoke a little louder than she intended to.

"I tried to find you but Gemma had forbid any of the guys to look. She said you ran out on him, in her eyes it was your fault." Donna patted Tara's knee.

Tara sat back on the sofa with tears in her eyes, "I didn't know it would affect him that way. I honestly didn't even think he still cared. He had pretty much said I was stupid for wanting to be a singer, I was upset and well you know the rest."

Donna nodded, "It's not your fault. You have an amazing talent. Don't let this get you down. He's okay now for the most part. I think he still misses you but won't say it. He's stubborn, he married some croweater bitch to fill the void of his loneliness."

"He's married?" Tara choked out, out of all of the scenarios she pictured him being married was not one of them.

"Legally, Yes. He doesn't love her, he's hardly even home. Long enough to fuck and be gone, I'd say. He usually stays here or at the clubhouse. He's VP now." Donna rambled on.

"Married." Tara muttered.

"Just on paper." Donna reiterated. Jax would be pissed that she told her about his marriage to the whore.

Tara couldn't help the jealousy raging through her body, even after ten years she never dreamed he would have gone through marriage with someone else, that was always her dream.

"Well look at you. A fuckin superstar now." Opie's voice pulled her from her trance. She hadn't even heard him come in. "Come here give me a hug." He must not hold the same animosity toward her that Gemma did.

"Hey Op," Tara greeted, "good to see you." Her attention was immediately on the figure standing by the door. Jax. He was there just a few feet from her.

She sighed and walked toward him slowly, "Hi."

"Hey." He muttered. She noticed his hands shaking, she wasn't sure if it was from anger or nerves, she was betting more on him being anger. He had always been a hot head.

"How have you been?" She questioned, hoping to keep things civil. She had her hands behind her back, not wanting him to notice them shaking as well. She wasn't afraid of him; he'd never hurt her physically. She knew that it would only take a couple of words to break her heart, as much as she'd try to prepare herself for this moment.

"Aight." She sighed but nodded, he was keeping his answers short. In a way that may be worse than just lashing out at her. At least then she would know he still cared a little bit.

"That's good." She bit her lip unsure of what to say next. "Well it was good to see you, I just wanted to say hi. I didn't mean to bother you." She turned to go back to her spot on the sofa, her chest was tight, she knew this was going to be hard but she didn't expect him to be so cold. She didn't know what she was expecting really, but not this.

"Wait." He called out. "Can I talk to you in private for a minute?" She turned to see Donna watching them.

"Sure." She followed him into a spare bedroom and waited for him to speak. Her heart was pounding, she felt lightheaded.

He sat on the bed, he ran his hands roughly through his hair, "Looks like your dream came true."

"Yours too." She touched his VP patch lightly but quickly withdrew her hand and stepped back.

"Part of it. You were my dream too but you disappeared." His eyes had that cold look that had haunted her dreams for years.

"Jax, I don't want to fight." She closed her eyes tightly.

"I don't either. Just listen."

When she opened her eyes, his expression had changed.

"I was an asshole back then. I should have handled the situation differently. You were right. You supported me through every decision I ever made, good or bad and when it was my turn to support you I failed. I was afraid," Tara's eyes went wide, this was not where she had expected this to go. "You were a talented singer and I was afraid that if you made it big you wouldn't want me anymore. You would leave here and I would lose the only woman I had ever loved." He admitted, his hands were shaking even more visibly now.

Tara watched him carefully, "I loved you. That meant more to me than being rich and famous."

"Obviously not." Jax motioned at her. "You left."

"I left because I didn't feel that you really loved me. You said if I wanted to be an old lady then do what I was told, that's not how a relationship works and I was not going to sit around and let you control me just because of an old lady title." Tara growled.

"You think I didn't love you? Everything I did was for you!" He raised his voice and it startled her.

"Bullshit." She hissed, "Everything you did was for the club and you. I was the one who kept putting off my dreams. I could have left a year before I did, but I was so wrapped up in being your old lady that I decided to wait. I wanted you to live this dream with me but you didn't want me to have it. You didn't want me to ever leave Charming, you wanted me to die here in this town miserable and most likely without you when you ended up dead or in prison over the club's bullshit."

"Then why are you here now?" He stated as if he saw through her. As much as she told herself she didn't want to see him, she knew it was lie. She loved him then, she loved him now.

"For a charity event." She answered.

"Bullshit. There's Charity events everywhere. You could have gone anywhere but you chose to do the one here. You're not fooling anyone." He said smugly.

"Then why do you think I'm here, Jax?" She had her arms crossed protectively over her chest.

His expression changed again, the look he had in his eyes the first time they ever made love was there in place of the coldness and anger that was there just moments ago. There was a burning intensity, he stepped forward to her, pulling her into him and whispered into her ear, "The same reason I'm here now." His hands slid up her shirt, he massaged her breast.

She moaned out. Her body cried out for more. He nibbled on her neck and pulled her lips back up to his. He unbuttoned her jeans and her rational thinking kicked back in, "Wait." She pulled away, panting to catch her breath. "We can't do this."

"Why?" He questioned, she could see his jeans poking out from his erection. She wanted him so fucking bad. No one had ever been ever to fill the void. She had sex frequently but no one ever pleased her like he had.

"I can't do this one-night thing with you, Jax. It's taken a long time to get past what we had and be able to function right and this will set me back." Her insides were on fire and tingling.

"I'm not looking for a one-night stand either babe. You know it's never been about that with you." He stepped toward her again, "We'll make it work, somehow." He picked her up and her legs automatically wrapped around his waist. Her body was betraying her. He laid her down on the bed.

"We can't." She insisted and her body was screaming at her to shut up and let him please her the way he only could.

"Yes we can." He slid his fingers down into her jeans and panties, inside of her moving slowly in and out of her wetness. "You want this. You're soaking wet babe."

"Fuuuuuuck!" She moaned and threw her head back. He used his free hand to pull off her jeans and panties, still fingering her with the other.

Her orgasm was close; she knew she needed to stop him but it felt so damn good. He dipped his head down, licking and fingering her simultaneously. That was all it took, her orgasm ripped through her.

He stood up, smirking at her, wiping his mouth, and leaned down to kiss her again before sliding out of his own jeans and boxers. He looked bigger than she remembered. Her body was screaming for him again.

"Jax, wait." She sighed, sitting up. "We can't do this." She stated again.

"Baby, we're already doing it." He rubbed her hair.

"I can't do this, it's not right." She retorted, she stood up pulling on her clothes.

"That didn't stop you from letting me eat you out or finger fuck you did it?" He said, annoyed.

"Actually I said stop, we can't do this, but you kept on. So don't put this on me." She hissed.

"Oh no, nothing is ever Tara's fault. She's the perfect one who never fucks up. She a superstar with the perfect life while the rest of us are total fuckups." He glared at her.

Tears rolled down her cheeks, "You know nothing about me anymore. I'm not perfect, my life is far from perfect. In my perfect world, you'd be there by my side. In my perfect world, it would have been ME you married. Go home to your wife, Jax."

He was stunned, Wendy was the reason she didn't want to do this. Fuckin' Wendy, she was a mistake from the beginning, a sad time out from the wanting and missing Tara.

"Wendy means nothing to me. We haven't lived together in months. I was lonely and missing you. We were fucked up and she was there. It was mistake. I've never even loved her. I've only ever loved you, despite everything that happened, I still only love you."

His words melted her heart of stone, he still loved her after all this time, but that didn't change anything. He was still technically married and even worse than that they still lived on opposite sides of the country.

"What am I supposed to do with that?" She questioned, her mind racing. She was pacing.

"Let me love you. Be with me. Forget all of this shit that's trying to keep us apart and let's be together. I love you Tara, I always have and I always will." He pulled her into his chest and held her tight against him.

"I love you too." She admitted, "I would love for this to work, Jax but I just don't see how it can. We live 3,000 miles from each other. How can that work? You're not gonna leave SAMCRO and I'm not gonna give up my music career." She pulled back to look at him.

The reality of her words slapped him in the face, they were at impasse. "We can at least try." He whispered.

"I can't go through the heartbreak like I went through the first time things ended badly because of our choices. I just can't. I'm sorry, Jax. I do love you." She walked toward the door leaving him standing there alone in the dark room.

"I've got to get going, good to see you guys." She exited the house and walked to the diner across town to wait on a ride back to her life.

When Amanda pulled up she climbed in the car and the sobs tore through her body.

"Oh honey what happened?" Amanda asked, instantly concerned about her friend.

"I saw Jax." Tara choked out.

"Asshole. What did he do?" Amanda held Tara's hand tightly, but drove toward the motel.

"He said he wanted us to work things out and he loved me." Tara sobbed, wiping her nose on the tissue Amanda handed her.

"Then why are you crying?" Amanda questioned, usually she could read Tara like a book but this baffled her.

"We live thousands of miles from each other. He's married, he says he doesn't love his wife and they are getting a divorce but I can't go through the heartbreak of getting involved and losing him again." Tara rocked back and forth in the passenger seat, the sobs slowing. "I don't wanna talk about it right now. Just take me to the airport, I need to get home."

"Okay." Amanda agreed, this would definitely be a topic for a later time. She hated seeing her friend hurting but she knew her well enough to know not to push or she'd shut down completely.

Tara immersed herself in work over the next several weeks. She did anything she could to keep from thinking about Jax. On the friend side, Amanda was extremely worried about her friend. She hated seeing her heartbroken but Tara refused to talk to her and try to let her help. As her agent, she was pleased with how much work she was getting done. Seeing Jax seemed to open up a flood of new material for a next album.

Jax also threw himself deeper into the club to keep his mind off of Tara. He didn't seem to have any issues with killing an enemy now and that worried Opie.

It had been a month since Tara was in Charming when the call came in from Donna.

"Hey Donna, how's that baby?" Tara greeted her with a smile. She hated that being away from Jax meant being away from Donna too.

"She's good." Donna sniffled.

"Are you crying? What's wrong?" Tara walked out of the party she was at so she could hear better.

"It's Jax." Donna stated. Tara's heart skipped a beat.

"What happened?" Tara whispered, it felt as if someone had sucked all of the air out of her lungs.

"They're in jail. Jax, Opie, all of them. Weapons charges. They don't have any protection in there Tara, I'm so worried."

Tara sat down, it felt like the room was spinning. "What about bail?"

"It was set at 3 million, $300,000 to bond them out, we can't afford it. We tried to use mine and Gemma's houses but it was only enough to get Clay and maybe Jax out, they won't leave the others." Donna explained.

"Shit. Let me call you back tomorrow okay, I'm in the middle of it." Tara stated. She hung up the phone and made a phone call.

Tara made the trip to California and paid the bond for the guys to be released. She knocked on Donna's door.

"Tara?" Donna was stunned to see her friend standing there, "What are you doing here?"

"You, Opie, and Jax needed me so I'm here." Tara hugged Donna. "They should be released soon."

"What?" Donna squealed. "You paid it? Oh thank you Tara. I wasn't calling you so you would pay it, I just thought you should know."

"I know. They weren't safe. I had the money. They will be safe now." Tara smiled.

"We need to go let Gemma know." Donna picked up Ellie and put her in the carseat.

"I don't think that's a good idea for me to go there, maybe I should wait here." Tara objected, "Gemma hates me."

"You just paid for her family to be safe, she's not going to mess with you today." Donna pulled Tara with her.

"Gemma!" Donna banged on her door.

"What the hell is going…." Gemma's eyes met Tara's, "what the hell are you doing at my house bitch?"

"STOP Gem. Tara is in California because she came and paid for the guys to be released. She's at your house because I made her come. No one asked her to pay the bond, she did it because she was worried about their safety too."

"They're getting out?" Gemma exclaimed, focused on Tara.

Tara nodded, "Yes. Donna said they weren't safe. I would never forgive myself if something happened to him-them-and I could've prevented it."

"Thank you." Gemma's tone was softer, nicer. It shocked the hell out of Tara.

"Of course." Tara answered, wanting to say more but resisting the urge.

"Donna, is it okay if I crash at your place? I've been up for 32 hours and I'm gonna fall over at any second." Tara asked, yawning. Her eyes were heavy and her body was weak but she wouldn't change a thing knowing that Jax is safe.

"Of course. Gem, I'll meet you at the clubhouse when the guys get there." Donna replied walking with Tara back to her car.

"How'd you come up with the cash to get us out?" Jax asked Gemma.

"I didn't," Gemma answered. "I tried every way I could think of to get it but I could only come up with enough to get one of you out."

"Then who did?" Clay questioned, his arms wrapped around Gemma's waist.

Gemma looked at Jax and shrugged, "Tara paid it."

"Yeah, we had been keeping in touch since she left the last time and she asked why I was crying so I told her. The next thing I know she's standing at our door saying she paid the money." Donna interjected grinning from ear to ear.

"Where is she now?" Jax looked around the lot.

"She's at our house, resting, she said she'd been up for 32 hours so she wanted to get some sleep." Donna answered, hugging Opie close to her.

"Okay. I'll see ya later." Jax turned to his bike.

"Hey." He whispered rubbing her hair back out of her face.

She rubbed her eyes and sat up, "Hey. You're out. That's great." She yawned.

"Yeah. Thank you for helping us out, I will pay you back every penny." He sat down beside her.

"Jax, I'm not worried about the money. I was worried about you and Opie being there. I needed to know you were safe." She placed the pillow against the headboard and leaned back against it.

"Why?"

"I love you." She took his hand in hers. "I said I didn't want to deal with a broken heart, but the minute I left you here, my heart was already broken. I want to try to make it work with you. I have to at least try. If you still want me." She kissed his knuckles. "And have filed for divorce." She added.

"I did file and of course I still want you. I love you too." He scooped her up into his arms and kissed her passionately. "I love you so much baby."

"That's good." She giggled. "It won't be easy, I'll have a lot of traveling that I have to do when I'm on tour but I can move here and record."

"We will make it work." He stood up, picking her up with him and spun her around. "I will do anything to help make it work."

"Me too." She smiled. Her heart felt complete, she had the love of her life back and it may not be easy but it was worth it. They would get through this, if they could be apart for ten years, go through all of the shit they had, and still found their way back to each other then it must be destiny. He was her soul mate, her one true love, she had no doubt about that now.


	2. Chapter 2

"Do you think they will be able to make it work?" Donna whispered as her and Opie peeked into the room where Tara and Jax slept.

"I hope so. He won't be able to handle losing her again." Opie replied, gently pulling the door closed. "This time will kill him for sure."

"Her too." Donna sighed. She hoped they could make it work, even after ten years without contact, she considered Tara her best friend and didn't want to lose her again.

Tara couldn't remember the last time she had slept that good. Jax being there beside her, holding her tight against him even during sleep. She hated that she had to leave him now.

"Hey," she kissed him softly, waking him up, "I've got to head back home just for a little while to pack my stuff up. I'll be back this weekend."

He rubbed his eyes, yawning and stretching, "Wait until later today to go and I'll come with you. Can you change your flight?"

She smiled and jumped into his arms, he was leaving California and coming with her…this was more than she expected, even if it was for just a few days. "Yes. Definitely."

He loved seeing her happy and was pleased that he could do something that would make her this happy.

She rode with him to Gemma's, she wondered how her mood would be today.

"Here again?" Gemma asked once she caught sight of Tara.

"Clay, I need a few days off. I'm going with Tara to pack up her stuff and move it here." Jax stated, ignoring Gemma's comment.

Tara watched Gemma's expression, apparently any chance of her being civil went out the door with Jax mentioning time off from the club. "TELL ME YOU'RE NOT BACK WITH THIS BITCH." She shouted.

"Enough." Jax growled. "Tara's my old lady, she always has been."

"She almost killed you." Gemma hissed. "She ran out on you and this family. She chose another life that didn't involve you or SAMCRO. She's not old lady material. You don't belong here, sweetheart." Gemma's angry glare locked on Tara.

"She's…" Jax started to defend her but Tara held her hand up to stop him and stepped around him standing in front of Gemma.

"I love your son. I loved him then, I love him now. If I didn't, I wouldn't be standing here and they would still be in lockup unprotected. You don't like me and the choices I made? That's fine, but let's be honest, those choices may have saved their lives-all of their lives. Without my "other life" none of us would have had the cash to bail them out and they'd still be targets. Here's the thing, I don't give a damn if you like me or not, but you will respect me. You will respect what Jax and I decide to do with _**OUR**_ lives. That's the only option you have." Tara squared her shoulders and stared the matriarch down, she wasn't a teenager anymore trying to please her boyfriend's crazy obsessive mother.

Jax couldn't deny seeing his girl defend herself was hot, especially when she was putting Gemma in her place.

"You uppity bitch," Gemma sneered, "you think you can just walk back here after ten years and everything will be the same. That's not going to happen."

The smile on Tara's face confused Jax and Gemma both. "You're right," Tara nodded, "things won't be the same. I refuse to let things be the way they were back then. I refuse to let you have so much control over my relationship this time around. I'm not that girl anymore. Things have definitely changed." She stepped back taking Jax's hand and faced Clay, "so how about that time off?"

"Be back by Sunday. We have the run in Tahoe next week." Clay answered, biting back his laughter. Gemma was furious but he had a feeling she was impressed with the girl, no one had ever dared talked to her that way. It was pretty clear that Gemma wasn't sure how to react.

"Will do," Jax nodded and leaned into kiss Gemma's cheek, "relax Ma, everything will be fine. I love her." He whispered in his mom's ear.

"Gash…" Gemma snorted when the front door closed behind them.

"You've met your match with that one." Clay chuckled.

"That bitch don't got shit on me." Gemma huffed.

"You leave town and come back to me fearless." Jax laughed. He added this new feature to a long list of things he loved about her.

"Damn right." Tara winked.

"So ever thought about joining the mile-high club?" She purred and quickly made her way to the restroom at the back of the plane.

He scrambled down the aisle after her. This was a new side of her, in her younger years she was more reserved, overly cautious, but now she seemed damn near up for anything and he was turned on.

"You are so fuckin hot babe." He gasped before she attacked his mouth with hers, knocking them into the wall behind them, not caring that everyone on the plane had a pretty good idea of what was going on in there now.

She gave him a wicked smile after they made their way back to their seats, both still breathless.

"You're home!" Amanda jumped up and hugged her when they walked into the apartment.

"Yeah, for a few days. This is Jax." Tara smiled and squeezed his hand.

"The infamous Jax Teller," Amanda looked him over, "it's nice to finally meet you. I'm Amanda, her best friend, also her agent." Her attention focused back on Tara, "are you sure you want to move across the country this soon after picking things back up?"

"Yes," Tara nodded, "it's where I think I need to be. With him is where I belong. I can record anywhere. This is what I want."

"Okay. If you're sure. If this is what you want, then you know I'm behind you one hundred percent but we do need to get that last track out before you leave."

"Let's go to the studio then, I'm ready." Tara bounced out the door excitedly. This was everything she wanted and now she got to share it with the only man she ever wanted.

Tara got to work as soon as they arrived at the studio, she was feeling strangely inspired.

"So how long have you known her?" Jax asked Amanda.

"I met her in Oakland when she came in to do her demo, Steven is my brother. So I've been with her since the beginning of her singing career." Amanda answered.

Jax nodded, he kept quiet. Amanda could see how much it hurt him to think about her leaving him. "She didn't want to leave you. I didn't really know her but that much was obvious. She was heartbroken. She wanted you to come for her…"

"She told me not to." Jax barked out. He didn't mean to sound like an asshole but the way things happened and ended with them still stung even after a decade and finally working it out.

"I know, but a part of her wanted you too. You were right not to," She held up her hands in surrender, she didn't want him to think she was trying to blame him, "she needed the time to grow and find herself as her own person rather than your girlfriend or old lady…whatever it is you guys call your women."

Jax stared at Tara through the studio glass, she looked genuinely happy. He knew singing was truly what she loved. As much as he wished things had been different and she would have never left, he wouldn't have wanted to miss this moment either. He had never seen her this way before. She was so confident, so beautiful, so excited. This would be how he always remembered her, no matter where their lives take them, this is the moment he never wanted to forget.

"It looks like she did that." He smiled, not taking his eyes off of his girl.

"Yep. She's so talented and that's took her a long way but you can take credit for part of it." Amanda paused, looking from Tara to him.

"What do you mean?" Jax asked, finally taking his eyes off of Tara to look at her friend.

"You motivated her in a strange way. She was angry and hurt and she used that to her advantage without even knowing it. She bottled that shit up and now look at her. She's a rock star."

"I guess something good did come out of both of our heartbreak." He wasn't used to being this open with strangers. Hell, he wasn't used to being this open with hardly anyone but Tara or Opie but this girl knew her. She knew the pain that Tara felt so he felt oddly connected to her too.

"You're here now. You're supporting her and she's moving across the country again to support your dream. I'd say something great came out of it. I'll tell you this though, Jax, if you hurt her again…there will be hell to pay." Being threatened by a girl was definitely not something he was used to, in a way it was funny, but in another way he had more respect for her than before for standing up for his old lady.

"You don't have anything to worry about."

"Good." Amanda grinned as Tara walked out.

"So how was it?" Tara asked.

"It was fantastic. I think it'll be number one." Amanda replied, high-fiving Tara.

"Great job babe." Jax spun her around.

"Well you love birds get out of here, me and the boys got some work to get it ready for the album." Tara pulled Jax out of the room, ready to just be alone with him.

"You were so good in there." Jax kissed her forehead when they settled down in Tara's bed for the night.

"Thanks." She grinned and laid her head on his chest, something more serious on her mind now. "Can I ask you something?"

"Shoot." He played with her hair and waited for her question.

"Your mom said something about me almost killing you what did she mean?" Of course she already knew, Donna told her, but she wanted to hear it from him. She wanted to hear his reasoning for why he would do that.

She felt him tense under her, "it was nothing."

"Please tell me. I want to know." She pleaded.

He untangled himself from her and sat up in the bed, "I was in a bad place when you left. That's all. Some fucker mentioned you probably fucking someone else and I snapped. I beat the shit out of him and took off on my bike. I was drunk, I ran into a barrier."

She sniffled, "I'm so sorry Jax."

"Hey, it's not your fault. None of it. I should have supported you like you did me so if anyone is to blame, it's me. I see that now. You were destined for this. I'm okay. We're okay." He held her hands as she locked them around his shoulders and rested her head on his back.

"Your mom is never going to forgive me for it regardless of who was to blame."

"She will get over it, like you said there's no other option for her. We're in this together babe. We made the mistake once of letting everything else get in the way, let's not make that mistake twice." He grinned remembering Tara's showdown with Gemma.

"Deal."

"Have you caught the latest?" Amanda rolled her eyes, standing in the kitchen reading the paper.

"No, what is it this time?" Tara asked.

"The latest what?" Jax questioned, confusion sweeping over him.

"Gossip." Tara replied, waiting on Amanda to fill her in on what she was talking about.

Amanda flopped the newspaper down in front of Tara. "Tara Grace gives up music career to be with biker gang member, oh look it even has a picture of me and Jax on the cover…how sweet." Tara sighed shaking her head.

Jax looked over her shoulder reading the headline, he never even saw anyone taking their picture when they were at this location which he thought was strange since people had been taking their photograph everywhere else. He balled his fist up. He was annoyed that she didn't seem more upset about this, "You're okay with them printing lies about you?"

"Calm down," She placed her hand on top of his, "this is part of it. I know that it's all new to you and it will take some time to adjust but give it time, it's not always this bad. They caught wind that I'm moving, they saw us being not so discreet in our public display of affection, they captured it on camera and printed a story that would get people's attention. It's not true, but it's what some of them do. They don't all care about facts, they care about selling magazines. In a few days or weeks, I will probably be asked for an interview to verify or deny the rumors. Just don't let it get to you and give up on me?" She hadn't even thought about this being a reason for them not working…until now.

"Never," He kissed her softly, "you're stuck with me."

"I was hoping you'd say that." She bit her lip, staring into his eyes. She loved him so much more than she ever thought possible back then. It was a deeper, stronger love, and she would fight for him and her career now against whatever or whoever stood in their way. She just hoped it wouldn't come to that. She would fight for her happy ending and he'd fight right by her side.

 _ **Author's Note: As requested by so many of you, I have decided to keep this story going. I have several ideas of where I want to take it. I don't think it will be an incredibly long story but I have a few more chapters lined up for you. Thanks for reading!**_


	3. Chapter 3

"Church. Now." Clay ordered. He had been watching Jax and Tara in the corner of the clubhouse completely absorbed in each other. He had to put a stop to this now before Jax fell any deeper.

"I'm sorry." Jax muttered, kissing her softly.

"It's okay. I need to get some errands done anyways. Call me when you're free. I love you." She grinned, leaning into kiss him again.

"Tara, you need to hear this too." Clay stated.

"What's this about?" Jax narrowed his eyes. It was against all club regulations to let anyone but members sit in during church. Clay kept walking, ignoring Jax's question with Gemma following closely behind.

"We have some important shit we need to sort out." Clay started when everyone was seated. All eyes were on him. No one knew what this was about. No one but Gemma.

"What's going on?" Tig asked.

"First I want to say how much we appreciate what you did for us Tara." Clay gave her a smile. "You stepped up and helped us without any obligation. That won't be forgotten."

"The guys all muttered their thanks."

"It was no problem really." Tara answered shyly. She couldn't figure out she could sing to thousands of people at a time but felt nervous being the center of attention in this room.

"With that being said," Clay continued, "as much as we appreciate what you did, this relationship with you and Jax is a bad idea."

"What the fuck are you doing?" Jax growled.

"Just listen Jackson," Gemma interjected, holding her hand up, "since she's been here the paparazzi have been lurking outside waiting to get a glimpse of her."

"That's bad for the club." Clay added.

"Who I choose to be with is NONE of your business." Jax clenched his hands into fists, "and I choose to be with Tara."

"They have a point Jax," Bobby being the voice of reason spoke, "what happens when they take a picture of something they shouldn't for a story. Neither of you can control what's published, what happens when they follow her around and snap a picture of something they shouldn't? We won't even know about it until it's too late."

Tara felt nauseous. Her head was spinning.

"We'll deal with that when we get to it." Jax shook his head, refusing to budge on the situation. He loved Tara. "I lost her once, I won't do it again."

"They have a point Jax." She whispered. She knew the club was involved in some illegal activities, they're outlaw, they've always been outlaw. She also knew how the paparazzi worked, there would always be someone out there-even if she didn't see them-taking pictures, writing headlines, making shit up if they had to. With SAMCRO's activities they would have a lot of rope to work with to hang the entire club. Clay definitely had a point and it broke her heart.

"No, they don't." He insisted. "We are going to be together. I will not go through the pain of losing you again."

"Are you going to risk the future of the club over some pussy?" Tig rolled his eyes. He liked Tara and was grateful for what she did but she was now a potential threat to the club.

"You sonofabitch." Jax growled lunging at Tig, Opie caught him pulling him back.

"They already wrote a story about you son. They said she was leaving her music career for a gang member. Do you really think they're just going to leave it at that?"

Opie knew Jax better than anyone and he knew that Jax would walk away from the club before he let Tara slip through his fingers again, "if Tara doesn't come around the clubhouse then there's nothing for them to see."

"That's not how it works." Bobby disagreed. "If they are looking for a story, they will dig into not only Tara but Jax too, and since he's VP of a motorcycle club, the MC will be a target too."

Tara intertwined her fingers nervously. She broke into a cold sweat. "They are right. I should go. We can't combine our crazy lives as much as I want to. I refuse to be the reason you end up in prison for the rest of your life." She wiped the tears from her cheeks.

"Tara," Jax grabbed her waist pulling her into his lap, "you're not hearing me. I WILL NOT live this life without you anymore. We will figure something out."

"I'll quit." Tara nodded, "I'll walk away from it all and just be with you."

"That won't help. You're a celebrity and you will always be a celebrity." Juice gave her an apologetic shrug.

She sighed knowing he was right. Even if she walked away from it all and retired like they said she was, she would still be followed to get the latest gossip of _why._

"If we can't come up with a better solution," Jax's angry glare fixed on Clay and Gemma, "then I'll walk away. We'll move somewhere that doesn't have a charter and there won't be any heat coming down on the club."

"You would just give up your legacy for this gash?" Gemma shouted. "I will not let that happen." She gave Tara a hard look.

"It's not your decision." Jax answered, returning her glare, holding Tara's hand tightly. "I hope we can work something out so it doesn't come to that, but I'm just letting it be known….I WILL NOT LOSE HER AGAIN. End of discussion." He pulled Tara up and led her out of the room. He wasn't going to sit there and let Gemma or anyone talk bad about her. He hadn't always done the right thing by her but he'd be damned if he makes that mistake again.

"Jackson!" Gemma shouted, storming after him. "I'm not going to allow you to throw away your future."

Jax spun around on his heels, "I'm not throwing anything away, Ma. If I have Tara, I have everything I need. I want both, her and the club, but if a choice has to be made…I will pick her. You should know that everything that happened back then was my fault, I didn't give her any other option. So all of this petty resentment you're holding on to you should let it go and if you can't-that's your problem. I won't allow you or anyone else to disrespect her."

Tara's heart swelled, she never thought she could love him anymore than she already did. He had grown up so much, more than she had originally given him credit for. He was choosing her over the club, he was cutting the cord on his mother's incessant need to control his life. He was finally the man she knew he could be.

"We will figure something out." Gemma agreed. Tara could see the rage in the matriarch's eyes. "I'm sorry, Tara. You will understand when you have kids, if someone hurts one of them-you will fight tooth and nail to make sure they never do it again."

Tara squared her shoulders, "I understand." At least Gemma was back to being civil. She knew it was only to calm Jax down after his tirade about showing her respect. At least it was working to a point, her standing her ground before they left to catch their plane obviously meant nothing to Gemma.

"Good now come back inside and let's figure out what our plan will be to deal with this mess." Gemma motioned back behind her.

"We will deal with that later. Right now, I just want to be alone with my fiancé." Jax objected, looking at Tara with a smirk realizing she hadn't realized what he called her.

Gemma didn't miss it, she stood there mouth gaped open wide, "fiancé?" She bit the inside of her cheek to keep herself in check and not push her son even further into this bitch's grasp.

Tara's head snapped up to Jax, "did you just call me your fiancé?"

"Well, I'm hoping…" He knelt down in front of her. The guys came out and watched the scene unfold. "Tara Grace Knowles, we've wasted too much time-time that we could have been living life together-being stubborn and fighting the inevitable. You are the woman I want by my side forever no matter where this life takes us. I love you more than anything or anyone and I don't deserve you-not for a second-but I'm asking you to marry me." He pulled out a ring and placed it on her finger.

Tears streamed down her face, she smiled, and jumped into his arms, "Yes. Yes. Yes, baby yes. I love you so much."

Most of the guys stood in silence, they all liked Tara but they also worried what drama would unfold from all of this.

Opie hugged the both of them and texted Donna the good news.

Gemma scurried off to her office to keep from blowing up. She would have to figure out a way to let go of her anger and accept the bitch if she wanted to keep her son close. Losing her son was just not an option.

"Hey congratulations, Jackie." Chibs cheered deciding to put his own personal opinions aside. He loved Jax and wanted him to be happy and this lass obviously made it very happy. "Welcome to our crazy family, sweetheart." He kissed Tara's cheek.

"Thanks." Tara blushed. "Yeah, thanks bro." Jax patted Chibs' back grateful to have his friends in his corner on this.

The rest of the guys with the exception of Tig and Clay joined in on celebrating the engagement.

"I think we should do this now; I don't want to wait another minute." Jax whispered in her ear, nibbling on her ear lobe. "I can get someone here within the hour to perform the ceremony."

"No," she was thrilled to see how anxious he was to become her husband but there was still a problem, "we can't get married right now."

"Why not?" He stepped back, his ego bruised a little. "You just said…"

"I want to marry you, Jax. We just can't right now."

"I know you always dreamed of a big wedding but we can do that stuff later. We can have two weddings."

"It's not that. I'm perfectly happy with marrying you right here in this clubhouse. I would marry you anywhere. Your divorce hasn't been finalized yet so legally we can't get married until it is."

He breathed a sigh of relief, "the minute it is, I'm making you my wife."

"Deal." She winked.

Gemma calmed down enough to congratulate the newly engaged couple. "I'm sorry sweetheart." She wrapped her arms around Jax's neck. "I just worry about you, that's all. If Tara makes you happy then I will try hard to make things right with her."

"Thanks ma." He smiled and looked over at Tara, "without a doubt, she's what I want."

Gemma nodded.

Tara watched the exchange, a part of her hoped Gemma's words were true but she also knew how manipulative the matriarch could be and refused to let her guard down until she was certain it was not all an act to regain her hold on Jax. Gemma stepped over to Tara, "it's hard for me to say I'm sorry. Apologizing or admitting when I'm wrong has never been one of my strong suits, but admit I blamed you for everything that happened back then and for that I'm sorry. You were right, you're not that little girl anymore and you have the potential to be a great old lady." She gave Tara an awkward side-armed hug and whispered, "don't break his heart again or I'll kill you myself. Keep him happy and we'll be one big happy family."

Tara stiffened, and glanced at Jax who was wrapped up in his conversation with Opie, "you don't have anything to worry about. I love him and will spend the rest of my life with him. Nothing will change that, and NO ONE will come between us." Gemma nodded and tried to step back but Tara grabbed her arm, "one more thing… **DON'T EVER THREATEN ME AGAIN.** Got it?" She hissed in Gemma's ear and walked away back to Jax stepping on her tip toes to kiss him.


	4. Chapter 4

_**Three Months Later**_

Jax dared any of his brothers to disrespect Tara again. He promised them they would regret it. Since then, they were all accepting of the relationship. They were still worried, Jax couldn't fault them that, the fear of their illegal activities being brought into light would always be a legitimate reason to be nervous. If caught they would face a lengthy prison sentence. They would just have to be smarter, he wouldn't allow the clubs activities to ruin things with the love of his life again. He would fight for her until his dying breath.

Tara wasn't as optimistic as Jax about the way things were going. The guys seemed to accept her with the exception of Clay who would follow Gemma's lead. Gemma put on a good show but Tara could sense the hatred the matriarch felt toward her, that didn't stop her from coming to Tara anytime the club needed financial help.

"You okay?" Jax found Tara staring out of their bedroom window. He pulled her into his arms, kissing the top of her head.

"Yeah. I'm just thinking. What are you doing here? I thought you were in Nevada til Friday?" She didn't want to tell him that she was regretting staying here in Charming. She wanted this to work. She wanted both of them to have their dream but the longer she stayed the more she remembered everything she hated about this life. He was always gone despite his promises that he wouldn't go on any runs until they figured everything out. She had a suspicion that all of the runs lately were on Gemma's orders rather than the clubs. Gemma had Clay wrapped around her bony finger and he'd follow her every command. Jax was oblivious, he thinks things are going perfectly.

"I had to come back, I've got some good news for you," he smirked, "for us." He dropped his mouth down to hers.

"Clay isn't upset about you leaving them shorthanded?" She rolled her eyes at the thought, more like Gemma upset that he's spending so much time with Tara.

"Nah, Opie's covering for me. No one even knows I'm back in town but you and him. When I got the news, I had to come tell you in person." His smile spread across his face.

"What?" She asked, curious to see what has him so upbeat.

He pulls out an envelope from his back pocket, "my divorce was finalized this morning. It's official babe. I'm all yours." He winked.

"Really?" She asks taking the papers from him, excitement building. This was the day she had been waiting for.

"Yup." He picked her up spinning her around the room. "I love you so much and I don't want to wait any longer. As soon as you're ready Tara Grace Knowles, I'm making you my wife."

She threw her head back and laughed when he nibbled on her ear lobe, her mood improved, her worries temporarily forgotten, "I'm ready baby. I'm so ready. Let's do this."

"You sure you don't want to do that chic planning stuff?" He laughed when she smacked him on the shoulder.

"No, I don't want to wait any longer either and besides when have I ever acted like a chic?"

"Oh, I can think of a few times." He winked lowering her down on the bed.

"MMM," she moaned out, "how about we keep you being back here our little secret. I'm loving having you here to myself."

"Deal." He agreed. "I'll have to hide my bike in the garage."

"Get to it then," she panted, "then you're all mine…for the rest of the night."

Her promise had him jumping out of bed to put his Dyna in the garage, feeling unashamed for not telling anyone he's back in town, and more than looking forward to this uninterrupted time with his girl.

…A Beautiful Disaster….

"Do you really think this is a good idea, Gem? Maybe things won't be so bad for us if they're together. It's been months and things have been pretty calm around the clubhouse." Clay questioned.

"It's only a matter of time." Gemma spat. "She ain't good for him and she sure as shit ain't good for the club." She sat in her husband's lap and looked him in the eyes, "she's bad for the club baby, she will be the reason we all go down."

Clay nodded, "how do you wanna handle it? If she turns up dead here, you know the media is going to point fingers at us. All eyes will be on us even more than before."

"We don't have to kill her," Gemma pondered out loud, "just scare her into leaving him, leaving town. Making this place and my boy a distant memory."

"Don't think she will scare easily." Clay replied taking a puff from his cigar.

"Tiggy can be scary without trying. I think he can do it," Gemma grinned, "and he's the only one who will do what you order without question or hesitation."

"I'll talk to him, get him on board, and then we can figure out what to do." Clay patted her leg and stood up pulling out his phone to call his Sergeant-at-Arms.

…..A Beautiful Disaster…..

Jax and Tara spent the night wrapped up in each other. Sleep was the last thing on either of their minds. This was such a rare opportunity for them to be completely alone, no church, no Gemma, no paparazzi…. Just the two of them.

"Do you have any idea how much I love you?" Jax whispered in the darkness.

"No, tell me." Tara giggled, listening to his heart beat.

"I love you more than anything or anyone in this world. You complete me. You are the one I would give all of this up for in a heartbeat, no hesitation, I would walk away from this town, this club, all of it before I would risk losing you again."

She fought the urge to beg him right then to leave. She knew his words were true. He would sacrifice all of it for her and that was the reason she would try harder to make it work. "I love you too, Jax. You have no idea how much it means to me that you would walk away from it all for me if needed. You making us a priority instead of the club proves we are in fact headed in the right direction. I can't wait until I'm officially your wife on Saturday." She kissed him softly as her stomach growled, "as much as I love this conversation, I'm going to go make us some breakfast."

"You know we don't have to wait until Saturday. Op gets back Friday evening; we can do it then." Jax suggested.

"He's been gone for over a week, his top priority will be getting into Donna." Tara giggled, standing up, "bacon, eggs, and French toast okay?"

"Sounds delicious," he agreed, "I'm going to hop in the shower if you don't need any help."

"Nah, I'm good. Go clean your sexy body," she paused eyeing his nakedness on the bed, "so we can get it dirty again after we refuel."

"Yes ma'am." He playfully saluted her and swatted her ass.

…..A Beautiful Disaster….

Tara had her ear buds in dancing around the kitchen in Jax's blue SAMCRO t-shirt when strong hands gripped her arms.

"That was fast." She giggled. "Miss me already?" The horror on her face when she saw the person holding her was wearing a ski mask and dressed in all black. He jerked the phone from her hand dropping it to the ground stomping on it.

"Who…Who are you?" She whimpered, her voice failing her.

The stranger pushed her back hard against the cabinet, holding her tiny wrists in one hand, and pushing her shirt up with the other licking his lips gazing at her nakedness. Tara struggled against his hold, bringing her knee up to hit his testicles but he blocked the assault shoving her back harder against the wood. He ran his fingers down her body and her rational thinking kicked in, "my boyfriend will kill you for this. He's in the shower, if he comes out and sees you, you're a dead man." She knew her admission would either scare the assailant into noticing someone else was in the house or make him do what he came to do sooner instead of dragging it out.

She wasn't expecting the laugh that escaped his lips, and she definitely wasn't expecting to recognize his voice once he spoke, "Jax ain't here. He's in Nevada." Tig. Her fear was more prominent; he was the only one of Jax's brothers that scared the shit out of her. He was unpredictable and downright psychotic. "HELP!" She screamed hoping Jax would hear her.

"Shut the fuck up." He backhanded her, "you need to leave here, leave Charming, leave Jax, make up some bullshit excuse. Just leave. Don't ever tell what happened here today. Get the fuck out. I don't want to hurt you, I actually really like you. I will do what I'm told though, you know that. So leave before I have to do anything that you'd find unpleasant."

"Who told you to do this?" Jax growled standing behind Tig seething, his gun pointed at Tig's head. He was still dripping wet. He must have heard her scream. His eyes found mine, "get in the bedroom babe." His gentle tone eerily calm. I had a bad feeling about it. The calm before the storm. Tig crossed a line, a line that he wasn't going to be able to come back from. Jax was smart though, he'd get to the bottom of who sent him and why. Tara already knew who sent him, she was sure if Jax thought about it, he would too. Tig is Clay's little lap dog after all and Clay will do whatever Gemma wants.

 _ **a/n: thank you all for reading! I hope you are enjoying the story so far…sorry for the tiny cliffhanger. Please review and let me know your thoughts so far. I'm thinking this story is only going to have a few more chapters but we will see based on what everyone thinks and how much time I have. There may be some pretty big delays as I'm starting a new job on Monday that will take up the majority of my writing time.**_


	5. Chapter 5

"You mind telling me why you ain't in Nevada?" Clay's voice boomed when Jax climbed out of Tara's car. Opie pulled onto the lot behind them.

"We have a problem, lock it down. Only Samcro and family need to be here. Everyone else needs to leave…for everyone's safety." Jax stated.

"What's going on, son?" Clay asked concern in his tone.

"Just lock it down, I'll explain once everyone is out that doesn't need to be here." Jax stood near the car with Tara, Opie, and Donna by his side.

Clay did as Jax requested and ordered everyone off the lot and the prospects locked the gate behind them.

"Has anyone seen Tig?" Gemma asked. "He's not been here at all today."

Tara's hard stare zeroed in on her, she looked to Jax for confirmation that now was the time to let everyone else in on their little secret. Tara stepped toe to toe with Gemma, "do you really hate me this much?"

"I don't particularly like you, but I don't hate you." Gemma's voice remained calm, oblivious to the fact that Tig is locked in the trunk of Tara's car, "Why do you ask?"

"You sent Tig to my house to what? Rape me? Kill me? What? What was the plan?" Tara's hands were clenched into fists at her side, she was fuming.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Gemma smirked. "I said I was fine with you and I am."

"Oh really?" Tara stepped back and looked to Jax to continue.

"I made a promise a few months back, I said if anyone of you disrespected my old lady that person would regret it." He bent down and unlocked the trunk pulling Tig's bloody body out. "This son of a bitch broke into my house and did more than disrespect her. He attacked her. He threatened her…" He paused looking to his brothers, to Clay, to Gemma, "all on the orders of Clay and Gemma."

"Baby, you know that's not true. I would never have anyone hurt Tara." Gemma stepped forward but Tara cut off her path to him. "You would and you did." Tara hissed.

"It took a lot of persuading," Jax grabbed Tig up by his black curly hair, "but he finally admitted to it all. Tell them what you told me and I may let you live." He ordered.

Tig shook his head, "kill me. Go ahead."

"TELL THEM!" Jax shouted pushing the gun barrel against Tig's skull.

Tig looked around the lot his eyes not meeting Clay or Gemma's, he knew there was no escaping his fate. Jax never liked him anyways and there was no coming back from what Clay made him do. "They told me to do what I had to do to scare her away. It didn't matter what I had to do, just make sure she left. If she refused then kill her and transport her body up north somewhere." Tig dropped his head.

"Who told you to do that?" Bobby asked in disbelief.

"Clay."

"We had a vote, the lass was safe here." Chibbs replied looking between Clay and Tig.

"He's crazy. I never told him to do that." Clay argued. "I wouldn't go against a club decision."

"You put a hit out on my future daughter in law?" Gemma turned to Clay. "How could you do that?"

The absurdity of Gemma's words slapped Tara in the face. She skipped right over the tears from her anger and laughed uncontrollably. "Wow. You have quite a pair on you. YOU did this. Clay may have physically ordered the hit but YOU had him do it. Everyone here knows that, so save the act. No one is buying it."

"Jax, I would never do anything that would hurt you or Tara. You know this isn't true." Gemma ignored Tara completely and spoke only to Jax.

Tara couldn't take it anymore. Her pent up anger and frustration against the matriarch came spewing out in a whirlwind of punches, slaps, kicks, whatever Tara could land she threw until two members pulled them apart.

Tara was so angry she couldn't even hear the words that Clay had said to defend his or Gemma's actions. She pulled her shirt down and went and stood by Jax's side feeling pleased with herself that she got several good hits in before she was pulled off of the bitch.

"These men violated everything we stand for. They took it upon themselves to go against a club decision to let Tara live in peace here and tried to force her out by whatever means necessary. This man physically attacked her. I was a witness to it. He's lucky he's still breathing. He WILL take his final breath today. I only brought him here out of courtesy to the club. None of you would stand by and let him do what he did to your old ladies and you can't expect me to let him walk from it." Jax paused looking around at his brothers and then to Tara, "go inside babe."

"No. I'm with you one hundred percent on this. I'm your fiancé, I'm your old lady. I will stand by your side no matter what." Tara answered running her hand gently across his cheek.

Jax nodded, "are any of you going to give me a problem for what I have to do next? He WILL meet Mayhem today!"

"I vote no." Clay spoke up.

"Your vote is invalid." Piney huffed. "I think we're all in agreement after what you done, you will no longer be a SON-if the boy decides to let you live." He didn't like the circumstances; Tara never should have been put in this situation but he was satisfied Clay's reign over the MC has come to an end.

"This is my club." Clay growled.

"No," Jax disagreed, "this is MY club now." The shots rang out; the sound was almost deafening. Tig's body hit the ground. Jax never took his eyes off Clay.

"Jax, baby," Gemma's tone turned sugar sweet, she was in survival mode now.

"I'm done with you too." Jax glared at her before his eyes deadlocked on Clay again.

"Sweetheart, you don't mean that." Gemma protested.

"Actually he does," Tara stepped forward attempting to block her man from his mother, "you brought this on yourself. You couldn't just accept our happiness. You had to try to manipulate the situation like you've always done. You know what's changed in this scenario? ME!" Tara crossed her arms over her chest, "I didn't fall for your bullshit lies this time. I never believed for a second that things were going to be okay between us, no matter how much I helped you or the club. You hated me. Actually, you just hated the fact that Jax loves me. You can't stand not being the center of attention in his world…well guess what Mommy Dearest…I hold that title and that's how it will be. You? You're irrelevant. You fought so hard to make sure that I wasn't in his life but all you did was make sure that YOU weren't. Now not only are you missing out on being with your son, you missed out on the chance to know your grandchild." Tara rubbed her stomach instinctively, "Congratulations. Now you really are truly alone."

"You're pregnant?" Jax questioned interrupting Gemma's retort. "We're having a baby? Seriously?" The smile that hit his face melted her heart. All of the anger she felt toward Gemma didn't matter in this moment.

"Yes." She smiled, "this wasn't how I wanted to tell you. It just sort of slipped out."

Jax picked her up spinning her around, "I'm going to be a daddy." The two of them were momentarily lost in their own bubble of joy.

The members erupted in "congratulations." Everyone was thrilled to see Jax so happy and as much trouble as Tara could bring the club she also seemed to balance it out.

"What do we do about them?" Opie asked bringing them back to reality, he hated ruining the picture perfect moment for them but this needed to be dealt with immediately.

"We don't need church to do this, who doesn't want Clay out?" Jax paused, no one said a word, "take his kutte, put the word out. The club voted, he's done. If he doesn't leave peacefully, he will join his friend here." Jax kicked Tig's body. "As for her," his eyes never landed on Gemma, "I don't care where she goes as long as it's away from me, my family, and my club." His stare was cold when he finally granted her a look, "if I ever see you around here again, I'll kill you myself. Do you understand?"

The protests of Gemma and Clay fell on deaf ears as Happy and the guys escorted them off the property. Jax wasn't interested in anything his mother had to say anymore, he focused on his future wife. "I love you so much. Let's get married…. Today."

"You sure you don't need to finish dealing with," she looked around the lot, "all of this first?"

"No, I want to make you my wife-Samcro's queen-then we can deal with this shit together." He laughed.

"Deal." She agreed.

The ceremony was quick and simple, the way they both preferred it. Neither of them wanted paparazzi if the news got out before they were prepared.

Jax was married in his kutte with the new President patch. Tara in a white dress that she happened to have stored in Jax's dorm room closet. It was small, simple, but perfect. They had each other. Today that was all that mattered. Tomorrow they would deal with everything else. The club, whatever blow back from Gemma and Clay getting pushed out caused, and the media circus with thousands of questions, allegations, and constant surveillance.

 **a/n: Thanks for all of the reviews so far. You guys are awesome. Please keep them coming. They are great motivation to keep the story going or write the next chapter sooner.**

 **also for those wondering how Opie got back so fast, it skips ahead two days.**

 **Special Shout Out: Amanda, thank you so much for being my go-to when I'm in a slump and can't figure out how I want a certain scene to play out and for being my person I bounce my ideas off of. You've helped me out so much over the past months on just about every single one of my stories and I really appreciate it girl!**


	6. Chapter 6

"A baby." Jax stared at Tara's bare stomach and rubbed it gently. "You shouldn't have attacked Gemma; the baby could have been hurt. You could have been hurt." His tone was stern but he didn't sound mad.

"I know." Tara placed her hand on top of his, "I didn't mean to. I just reacted. Her acting like she had nothing to do with any of it rubbed me the wrong way, I guess. It was stupid."

"It was kind of hot though." He smirked up at her, pulling her mouth down to his. "Just don't put yourself or our baby at risk again."

"Round 4?" Tara wags her eyebrows at him with a grin.

"Baby, I can go all night." He winks.

They spent the weekend completely absorbed in each other, the clubhouse was still on lock down until the club could decide what to do about Clay and Gemma. Jax wanted him dead but the news of being a father was more important to him than revenge at that moment. He would get his revenge, all in good time.

…

Tara woke up early and went outside to watch the sunrise. The images of Tig Trager being murdered in front of her haunted her dreams. It had to be done. She knew it did, he could have killed her-killed her baby.

Things were definitely going to be a lot harder. She's married now, how long before the paparazzi come back around? Hell they're probably out there right now.

She knew what she had to do. She texted Amanda that she needed publically announce her marriage and that she's taking a break from music for a while to focus on her new family.

She snuggled back in bed with Jax. He was her happy place. Everything else didn't matter. As long as she had him by her side they could get through anything. He was her home-her happily ever after.

…

"Brother, you're going to want to see this." Opie pounded on their dorm-room door.

"What?" Jax questioned throwing his jeans and shoes on.

"Gemma." Opie answered. Tara jumped out of bed and interlocked her fingers with Jax's. They would deal with this-whatever it was-together.

Tara had prepared for a lot of things but to see Gemma sitting there hunched over battered and bloody wasn't one of them.

"Mom?" Jax shouted dropping to his knees to examine her. "What the hell happened?"

Sobs tore through Gemma's body, "Clay." She answered quietly with her eyes focused on the floor.

Tara watched Jax clench his fist at his sides. He was angry. No matter what Gemma did, someone physically hurting his mother would not slide. "Where is he?" Jax growled.

"At the house." She answered, peeking up at him. Tara narrowed her eyes in response.

"Babe," Jax turned to Tara, "can you help her get cleaned up? I've got to go deal with this."

Tara nodded, "be careful." She couldn't shake the feeling that something wasn't right with this whole situation.

"Always. Love you. I'll be back as soon as I can." Jax leaned in and kissed her softly and turned back to his mom, "we'll talk about this more when I get back."

Jax left leaving some of the prospects there to help Tara with Gemma.

…

"So what happened?" Tara asked Gemma, cleaning the cuts on her face trying to not feel the least bit satisfied that the matriarch got what she deserved. Karma. Even as angry and as hurt as she was with Gemma's actions toward her, she still felt bad about these feelings. No woman should have to go through this; not even the biggest bitch on the planet.

Gemma just stared ahead, not speaking, flinching slightly when Tara rubbed alcohol on the deeper cuts.

"Okay, fine, I'll talk. I don't know what happened-since you won't tell me-but if this is some sort of ruse to get Jax to let you back in…" she trailed off shaking her head, "surely you're not that stupid."

Gemma's eyes snapped up to hers angrily, "I don't need a ruse to make things right between us sweetheart. My son will never push me out permanently." Her tone was harsh but confident.

Tara kneeled down to her eye level, "that will be exactly what happens if you don't stop this shit between us-if he even decides to give you another chance after trying to have me killed."

Gemma stood up, "I didn't try to have you killed. If I wanted you dead, trust me when I say this, you wouldn't be standing here right now. I wouldn't have sent Tig to do it, everyone knows he had a soft spot for you. I would have done it myself…if I wanted it done, that is.

Tara felt a chill run down her spine at Gemma's brutal honesty. "I guess we will just have to wait and see how this plays out with Jax. Know this-I do not trust you. I know what you're capable of. I'm not like Jax, you can't manipulate me. You know this-it's the main reason why you dislike me so much, right? You don't scare me anymore, Gem, so this thing between us," Tara gestured between the two of them, "is about to get very interesting."

Gemma remained quiet much to Tara's surprise, the matriarch just stared at her with an expression Tara couldn't read.

…

It was hours before Jax made his way back into their room at the clubhouse. "So what happened?" Tara sat up and flipped the lamp on. The clock read 2:25.

"I'm tired babe. I just want to go to sleep." Jax replied quietly. He slid into bed beside her after discarding his clothes onto the floor. He kissed her quickly and turned his back to her. She wrapped her arm around him, feeling his slight tremble beneath her.

She lay there quietly wondering what's going on in that head of his, wishing he would talk to her but not wanting to push him. She knew him well enough to know, if he was shaking, it was bad. It had to be.

…

Tara woke up to Jax sitting up in bed staring at her. "I'm sorry." He muttered, kissing her softly.

"For what?" She asked with a yawn.

"I should have talked to you instead of just shutting down. I promised I would be one hundred percent straight up with you. I just…" His words trailed off and the tremble was back in his hands.

"Hey," she forced him to look at her, "whatever it is, I'm here."

"I beat him to death." He answered in a daze. "He tried to lie and say he didn't hurt mom, he said she must have had someone else hurt her just like she lied and tried to put everything on him about you." He shook his head, "I hit him. Once I started, I couldn't stop. All the years of pent up frustration came out all at once."

Tara kissed his shoulder and held him tightly. "It's okay." She soothed staring straight ahead at the wall. ' _Could Gemma have had someone else hurt her? Would someone be stupid enough to hurt the matriarch of the Sons of Anarchy? I have a feeling Clay may have been telling the truth, he wouldn't hurt Gemma. Not like she was hurt tonight anyways. He may have slapped her once or twice in a moment of anger but she was bloodied and bruised-he would never do that.'_ She thought to herself. "Do you think he may have been telling the truth?" She asked aloud, hoping the question didn't start an argument between them.

Jax stiffened, squinted his eyes in confusion and stared at her, "what do you mean?" He asked.

She instantly wished she hadn't said anything but it was too late,"I mean you pretty much cut her out of your life. Do you think maybe someone else did it to her and she blamed him?" She took a breath, "to make you forget about banning her and get you to deal with Clay at the same time?"

"You're unbelievable." Jax shook his head. "This man hurt my mother and here you are making it sound like she asked for it."

' _If the shoe fits'_ Tara thought to herself, "I'm sorry but it makes sense. You said he was adamant he didn't hurt her and honestly, I have a hard time believing that he did. He loved her more than anything-probably even more than this club if you got down past it all."

Jax angrily stood up and threw his jeans on, "I don't know what you're getting at, surely you don't think she told someone to do this to her. You and my mother need to work this shit out and figure out how to get along. Both of you need to grow the fuck up." He growled and stomped out of the room leaving Tara sitting alone on the bed.

Tara threw herself against the pillows, ' _I guess the bitch got what she wanted. Him and me to fight. Don't let her win. Jax may be blinded by his love for her but you have to keep control here. Don't let her win.'_ The thoughts were rushing through Tara's head. She knew she had to make this right, she would never trust Gemma-not even a little-but she would have to play her game. She would have to become better at it than the 'Queen' herself.

…

Tara spotted Jax sitting at the bar drinking a beer with Opie. His tense pose told her he's still very much upset. She wrapped her arms around him, "I'm sorry." She whispered in his ear. She felt him relax a little and continued, "I was wrong. I guess I was just upset about the Tig thing and blamed it all on her. I'm sorry." It was driving her crazy that even after everything she had done, Gemma was still controlling their relationship.

"I just need you guys to get along until we can figure this shit out." He gives me a small smile with one hand placed on mine.

"Got it." I answer stiffly. I catch a glimpse of Gemma sitting in one of the lounge chairs with an ice pack to her face milking the sympathy for all it's worth. _'Stupid lying bitch.'_ Tara thinks to herself. She was never one to jump to conclusions about people, but Gemma Teller-Morrow-Tara knew just how manipulative she could be especially when it comes to losing her control on Jax and the club.

 _ **Author's note: Thank you all for being patient. I had wanted to finish the story up with this update but had a hard time focusing on getting this chapter out with everything going on in my personal life, so it'll take a bit longer to wrap it up. I'll work on it again as soon as possible. Thanks for reading and all reviews are appreciated!**_


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